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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Gay Marriage in America




April 22, 2012

North Carolina Marriage Amendment

North Carolina has a proposed Amendment to the state Constitution that would add to an existing state law that prevents anyone to marry anyone from the same sex. The following are my opoinions and thoughts on this complex topic.

Many seem to have deeply polarized opinions on this topic.

In the middle of my career, the pharmaceutical company that I had then been employed by for nearly 20 years transferred me to New York City to be the Director of Marketing for a wholly owned cosmetics subsidiary named Elizabeth Arden. I was suddenly in the fashion industry instead of health care. I clearly remember wondering how I was going to explain to my 10 year old son that instead of saving lives I was now selling lipstick. Please picture this mid-western hick who had never been to New York City and knew nothing about makeup and cosmetics trying to run the marketing efforts for this major cosmetic company. The six years I spent there not only turned out to be among the most enjoyable of my career, and I even managed to convince myself that instead of saving lives I was now beautifying America!

What does all of this have to do with the marriage amendment? Well, another part of this job required me to interact with a large crew of world-class male makeup artists who worked for the company. They were almost all gay...and openly so. Initially I was very uncomfortable working with them. I'm normally a very friendly outgoing person, but I was afraid that some of them would misunderstand and perhaps think I was interested in them...in that way! Finally, one young fellow approached me and asked me if I was prejudiced against gays. I stammered a bit and told him that I hoped not, but had to confess that I just didn't understand much about the gay scene or how or why one chose to be gay. He told me that it was obvious to all of them that I was confused and he wanted to share his personal story about how and when he discovered he was gay. It was a heart-wrenching and very sad story of pain, persecution, and even of losing his relationship with his family. He encouraged me to ask some of the others in this group to share their life story about being gay. I did exactly that and not one person I ever asked that question told me that they had simply decided to become gay...they all said that they were born that way. Most would say that if it were a simple choice...they would never have chosen it because of the pain and suffering that went along with being part of this heavily persecuted group.

Here are my opinions on this amendment that will be on the May 8 ballot. First, North Carolina already has a law that defines marriage as being between two people of the opposite sex. Second, a couple of my lawyer pals tell me that the amendment is so loosely written that it will absolutely be challenged in the courts regarding its constitutionality and will likely be overturned. The many years that this will then take to work through the legal system will cost the taxpayers many millions of dollars that we cannot afford. For these two reasons alone I will vote no.

Perhaps more importantly, while I believe that any religion or religious group has the right to determine who they will or won't allow to be a member of their church or marry, I do not believe that any governmental body, be it state, local, or federal...in most cases...has that same right. It also seems interesting to me that many of the folks who are supporting this amendment are the same folks that keep preaching for less government intrusion...and yet here they are asking for more. If you believe that folks who are gay generally chose to be that way, then you certainly have a right to be personally against gay marriage. After all, who really pays attention to that old “judge not lest ye be judged”. I had an opportunity to attend an excellent lecture on this topic by our own local Rabbi Phillip Bentley last week. He said that in his life-long experience of counseling and personally knowing a significant number of Gays...he had never known a situation in which they chose that behavior. He sincerely believes, like I do, that the vast majority were born that way, and that they too are children of the same God and deserve the same legal marital rights as the heterosexual majority. Maybe it's not called marriage, but it certainly should encompass the same civil and legal rights of any heterosexual couple...at least in our opinions. Finally, if you are a Christian, I hope you will pause before deciding how to vote and ask yourself...what would Jesus do? Maybe more importantly...what would he want you to do? After all, most, if not all, Christians believe that God is our ultimate judge and that after we pass on we will be judged for our sins while on earth and rewarded or punished appropriately. If we really do believe in God being our ultimate judge...why do we seem to need so desperately to judge others ourselves? In this particular situation, it seems to me that this amendment is just one more example of mankind trying to play God. Do you really think he needs our help?


These are my opinions. What do you think?


Mike Tower
Hendersonville, NC

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